We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
