I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
