I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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