I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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