Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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