Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
