i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
