I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
