I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
