i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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