You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
