So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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