how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
