Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
