youre lurking in front of me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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