Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
