so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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