the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
