someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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