Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Found the puke drawer
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
