and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
