Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
