Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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