so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
