You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
