she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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