Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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