thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
