My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He called his prostate his "boner button".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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