she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
