If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Terrible idea I love it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
