Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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