So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
