There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
