you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
