it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
