I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
