We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
