brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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