I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
As shirtless as possible
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
