i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
