I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
