well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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