so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
