You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
