Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
