Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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