idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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