turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
