yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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