So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
