I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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