We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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