You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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