if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
