he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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