just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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