She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
