This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
