Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
