I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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