she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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